Revenge of the Overlooked Background Characters
by maplexsyrup
Summary: What do a boy-snatcher, a Hollywood agent, a girl with no name and a boy who disappeared off the face of the earth have in common? They're all fed up with Lisi ruining their lives. Twoshot. RMFE. For Maddie
1. Chapter 1

Ladies and gentlemen, it's that time again...

_Sophie & Maddie's RMFE!_

This is dedicated to Maddie, fabulous prompt-giver, who says that Delusional States of Mind still takes the cake. Well, I tried. :)

So here it goes...

...and all because I needed some cheering up one sunless day.

* * *

"_And I heard 'em say, nothin's ever promised tomorrow, today  
And I heard 'em say, nothin's ever promised tomorrow, today  
But we'll find a way  
And nothin' lasts forever, but be honest babe  
Hurts, but it might be the only way"_

I didn't bother reading the text message, because that ringtone was only attached to one number. And that person only ever sent text messages for one reason. I just walked to the nearest bus stop and caught a bus to the Westchester County Public Library. As I wove through the many shelves of books, careful to avoid those alcoves used by horny teenagers, I wondered why Danny called the meeting—the last one was only three days ago. I guess he was having a bad day.

The nook in the very back of the library still had the beanbag chairs arranged the way they were at the last meeting—no one besides us ever came back here, where the most boring and dust-covered volumes in the library were stored.

"Hey, Taylor," said Danny Robbins. He was drinking a bright pink strawberry-watermelon-flavoured Gatorade. Kind of a girly flavour, and even more so cause I knew he got it imported from Mexico. But Danny was clearly having a bad day, so I didn't bug him.

"I'm just so… pissed off." Danny sighed and sunk into one of the beanbags.

"Thinking about Chris Plovert again?"

"Yeah. I just don't know how Lisi picked that asswipe over me."

I was trying to think of a non-gay response that would help Danny feel better, but I had nothing. Thankfully at that moment four girls walked in.

"This is the right place for the meeting, right?" asked a pretty brunette wearing a shirt that said 'Team Jacob' on it. Who the hell was Jacob, anyway?

"Yeah," replied Danny sullenly.

We didn't always get lots of people. Sometimes it was just Danny and I. But today there were lots. Team Jacob and her friends, whose names were Aimee, Suze, Denver and Saylene were there, plus a girl who looked like she'd just come from dance class who didn't seem to have a name. There was an older man in a suit who claimed to be a big Hollywood agent, and a redheaded boy who looked about ten.

"Hey everyone. Thanks for coming to the meeting. Who are we?" said Danny in a cross between a rally-the-troops yell and a library-approved whisper.

"The Forgotten Background Characters!"

"And what do we stand for?"

"No more injustice from Lisi!"

This, however corny, was my favourite part of the meetings.

"Who wants to go first?" asked Danny, before pointing at the nameless girl. She sniffed, and I was worried that she was going to burst into tears.

"I-I just hate not having a name. I don't want to be identified by my hairstyle anymore. See? I'm not wearing braids anymore. Name this, Lisi!"

"Thank you for sharing," we all replied.

The redheaded boy spoke next. "You know what bugs me the most? _I_ was Massie Block's first kiss. Me. Not that Derrington loser. I mean, I'm only ten years old, but give me some credit."

"Thank you for sharing, Todd," we chorused.

"I really hate—"

But what Hollywood Agent hated, we never found out. Because a gorgeous Spanish girl who half-attempted to hide her boobs under a guy's Abercrombie hoodie ran into the room. She smiled at Danny.

"I trust that you've thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend?" she asked, blinding us all with her scarily white teeth.

We all gasped. It was Nina Callas.

--

Normally we just talk about our problems. Occasionally we've spray-painted some 'Lisi Sux' graffiti, but nothing too extreme. Nina obviously thought Danny had other ideas.

"Nina's right," said Danny, "that's why I called this meeting. I have an idea, and it came to me this morning while I was eating my Diamond Shreddies."

"_Those are such a scam. You know they're just squares turned on their vertexes," _whispered Nameless Girl in my ear.

"The plan is… drumroll please… We're going to let the air out of the tires of a certain black Range Rover."

Everyone gasped at Danny's 'brilliant' idea. I didn't see how it would change anything, but witnessing a Massie freak-out could be fun. We all trooped out of the library, Todd at the front beside Danny, and Hollywood Agent walking behind us, unsure if he wanted to participate in some middle-school prank. When we reached Stone Crescent, Danny stopped us.

"Here's the plan:" he said, "Todd will go in first to check it out because he actually lives here. Then Taylor and I will follow. The rest of you, stay in the hedges."

Todd walked across the sprawling front lawn, then signalled Danny and I that the coast was clear. We crept over to the Range Rover, which was conveniently parked in the driveway instead of in the Block's twelve-car garage. I knelt beside Danny as he opened the valve and we heard the soft _hiss_ of air as the tire began to deflate.

"_Good morning Baltimoreeee, Every day's like aaan oooopen dooooor. Every night, is a fantaseeeee, every sound's like a symphoneeeeee!"_

"What the hell?" whispered Danny. All of a sudden, I knew. There was only one man who would be walking toward the car, singing Hairspray (My sister made me watch it. Shut up.) tunes badly off-key.

It was Isaac, the Block's driver.

"Shit. Dude, it's Isaac, we gotta get out of here!" Danny and I took off across the lawn. "RUUUUUNNN!" Danny yelled, alerting the rest of the crew to abandon their post in the hedges.

We took off down Stone Crescent, Isaac doing his best to chase us in his fancy suit and dress shoes.

"You kids aren't gonna get away with this!" He threatened, but we were already around the corner.

"Let's hide in here," said Saylene, pointing at a Ben & Jerry's ice cream shop across the road. It was empty except for one guy behind the counter, who Aimee (aka Team Jacob) seemed to recognize.

"Ehmagawd! You're Eric Yorkie from _Twilight_!"

"What's that?" I asked, and all the girls instantly looked shocked.

"Ehmagawd, _Twilight _is the best book ever!" squealed Denver. "Edward Cullen is like, _love._"

"No way!" retorted Aimee. "Jacob is a million times better."

So that's where the Team Jacob thing came from. All of a sudden, I saw a little BMW parked outside, and angry suit-wearing man stepped out of it.

"Guys, Isaac must have ran back and gotten a different car. Hey, um, Eric, can we hide in a back room or something?" I asked, and even though Eric looked confused, he led us into the storage room in the back of the shop.

"_Hey, have you seen a bunch of kids around here? Those punks let the air out of my tires!"_

"_Nope, sorry sir. You could check down by the grocery store."_

Eric walked into the back room. "What was that all about? Why did you let the air out of his tires?"

"Well," said Saylene, "have you ever been mad at Stephenie Meyer for making you a boring background character?"

"Um, I guess so… but what does it have to do with that guy?"

"We let the air out of the tires of Massie's car—she's sort of like the Bella in our story."

"I don't see how that would change anything." said Eric. "If I wanted to do something, I would go find Stephenie—or whoever writes your story—and get her to change things."

"Hmm…" mused Nina, "I like this idea. _Gracias!_" she kissed Eric on the cheek, making him blush.

"That's crazy!" exclaimed Saylene, "We'll never pull it off and you'll get us all killed."

That was true. It would be so easy for Lisi to have a freak earthquake or something strike Westchester and kill us all.

"I don't know," mused Aimee, "it could work. It would be like Revenge of the Overlooked Background Characters!"

"I like it," said Suze, "We could get stickers. _Save the Background Characters!_ Like Save the Ta-Ta's, only different."

"All right," said Danny, "but how the hell are we gonna get all the way to California?"

"How do you think I got here from Spain? Hello, private jet!" Nina smirked. Because even though we all lived in a place known as 'The Beverly Hills of New York', according to Lisi none of us were as wealthy as Massie and her cronies. Except for Nina.

Could we really pull it off? Fly to L.A? Get Lisi to change our lives without pissing her off and getting us all killed?

Danny must have seen my _you're-totally-insane_ look, because he said: "Hey, don't worry, Taylor. I've got it all under control."

Saylene looked confused. "Hey, who're you?" she asked me. "There's no one in the story named Taylor."

Shit. Everyone knew me by my old nickname. Back when I used to play soccer. Back when I was best friends with Derrick and Cam. Back when I got invited to Massie's parties. Before I completely disappeared off the face of the earth, at least according to everyone who mattered.

"Ehmagawd," said Denver, "I know who you are. You're _Vader._"

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Review and alert if you want the ending. :)

And sorry if Vader sounds girly. I'm not used to writing as a guy!

PS. TEAM JACOB!


	2. Chapter 2

Thanks to my new, smaller, **betterer **cast, I bring you chapter 2 :)  
Hope you like it.

* * *

"Um, yeah, that's me." Saylene, Denver, Suze and Aimee gaped at me as if I'd just grown two extra heads.

"No way!"

"Why don't you play soccer anymore?"

"What was being friends with Derrick and Cam like?"

"What was being popular like?"

_Ouch._

Denver elbowed Suze. "We were popular for, like, a day, remember?"

"Yeah, but it doesn't really count. And then we were totally forgotten."

"I still play," I said bitterly, "there are more than five boys on a soccer team. But those five don't talk to anyone but each other. Derrick and Cam, they _used _to be nice. Now they're more clique-y than Massie Etc."

Then Nameless Girl asked the one question I didn't know the answer to.

"So why aren't you in the story anymore?"

I wasn't sure. Did it have to do with my lack of a normal name? Or the fact that I was, hands down, the best seventh grader on the soccer team? Or maybe that I kissed Olivia Ryan, back in the days when her nose wasn't made of plastic? One day, I had been roasting marshmallows with the Alpha of Westchester herself. Then, Chris Plovert came along (wasn't he supposed to be in eighth grade?), Josh Hotz came to town (replaced by a possibly gay guy. Great), and Kemp Hurley became… not a perv? And I was replaced.

"Ugh! Taylor-Vader-whoever-you-are, get on the plane! Daddy's pilot is about to leave," whined Nina. "Besides, we have a stripper pole on board…" She said this in a way that was supposed to be enticing-slash-sexy, but to be honest, she had always scared me.

As soon as I got on the plane, two redheaded girls were running (translation: trying not to stumble in their high heels) across the tarmac from the small lobby of Westchester County Executive Airport. Puffing, they showed the Spanish stewardess their passports.

"This is Nina Callas' plane, right?" The taller one asked.

"Si. What do you leetle girls want?"

"Psh, we're older than _you_," snapped the shorter one.

"We're Dylan's older sisters, Cassandra and Mercedes Marvil. We're pissed at Lisi cause Mom only took Dylan with her to Hawaii."

"Fine," sneered Nina, "WE CAN GO NOW!"

And with that, the plane began to roll towards the runway.

--

After a boring plane ride, we all piled into a limo.

"You know Lisi's address?" Aimee sounded shocked.

"Si, Daddy knows everyone in publishing."

By the time we got to Laguna Beach we were all too nervous to say much. The driver stopped in front of a medium-sized house on the corner of Clearwater Lane and Blackstone Avenue.

"Thees eez your stop."

Danny walked bravely up to the front door and rang the bell, but all we heard was the insane barking of a possibly neurotic Chihuahua.

"Maybe she's in the backyard," offered Saylene, "It is a nice day."

We peered over the back gate, opened it and walked across the grass. Lisi, typing furiously on a laptop, didn't notice us until we were two feet in front of her.

"Meep." She looked like someone who had seen a ghost, or an angry zombie, or a group of Massington-hating bitter ex-Clique-fangirls.

"Who are you? Get out of my yard before I call the police!"

"You seriously don't know who we are?" asked Danny.

"Ehmagawd! Wait, what are you doing here? You're supposed to be in Westchester, sucking up to the Pretty Committee!"

"We're tired of being treated like crap, Lisi." said Danny.

Lisi wasn't paying attention. She was too busy watching two dragonflies who seemed to be stuck together.

"Oh, what were you saying?"

"We might be background characters, but we don't deserve to be forgotten."

"Hmm… oh, you're right. Look, kids, I can't really make you all popular Pretty Committee members, but I can tell you a secret."

"What?" blurted Aimee.

"I'm sick of the Clique series. I need to shake things up."

We all gasped.

"I have some ideas for PS, I Loathe You. Layne is gonna steal _both _Derrington and Dempsey from Massie, Claire will break up with Cam for good, I'll actually talk about Kristen and Dylan, Josh cheats on Alicia with Olivia… Oh, and I'm changing the plot of The Alphas. It's gonna be more like Private, but in ballet shoes."

"How does that help us?" asked Denver. "Look at Vader! He was best friends with Cam and Derrick and then he totally disappeared! And what about her?" Denver pointed at the nameless DSL Dater. "She doesn't even have a _name_!"

Lisi looked like she was about to cry. "I'm so sorry! I think I'm just too self-absorbed these days… I mean, I don't see anyone else, and I never leave the house…" She trailed off, staring into space.

"But don't worry, when I write the next chapter, I'll change all that." She looked down at her computer screen. "Ooh! A new Gmail message!"

"Wait, so you weren't writing before?" asked Todd.

"No, I _could _be writing the next chapter, but I'd rather Gmail. It's super addicting. My computer was broken so I had to run out and buy a laptop. I was in total Gmail withdrawal. I swear I'm still itchy…" She pulled a box of Lucky Charms out from underneath her lawn chair and started munching.

Danny and I looked at each other. "You know, I think that's the best we're gonna get," I mumbled.

"Yeah, you're probably right, man."

We walked out of the gate and towards the waiting limo.

"Don't worry," Lisi called after us, "you won't be disappointed." Then she began to type.

--

_The Pretty Committee was sitting around their usual lunch table._

"_Ehmagawd!" shrieked Massie, "Who is that?" She pointed at a new kid sitting with the soccer boys. He looked strangely familiar…_

"_I don't know," said Alicia. She frowned, hating being out of the loop._

"_He's cute," remarked Dylan._

_Kristen and Claire nodded._

"_You just don't recognize him without his gorilla suit on!"_

_The girls turned around to see Olivia Ryan standing behind them._

"_Get away, LBR." snapped Massie._

_Then stupid Olivia Ryan answered the question none of the Pretty Committee knew the answer to._

"_Duh, it's Vader!"_

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**The End.**

**Review :)**


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